[incommunicado]

FRISSON: "Well, that's bullshit. Most straight or bi women, if given the chance and if they're truly honest with themselves, would enjoy the chance to casually sample some strange dick. Swinging is about the opportunity to explore and experiment, and something is wrong if one partner claims a certain amount of freedom, but restricts his partner's opportunities out of the insecurity or jealousy."

JustAskJulie "I think it really depends on the couple involved and what hte female wants. If she only wants to be with other women then it's totally fair. But if she

a) is only being with other women because he wants her to be/ to please him.

b) wants to be with other guys but can't because he is too insecure

Then it's still very unfair."

In the interest of some healthy and heated discourse, I'm going to further open this can of worms...

How is this bullshit? How is this unfair?

Isn't swinging slanted quite a bit to the woman's advantage in terms of equal distribution of sex already? She can have sex with both men AND women (and, from what I have read here, MOST do). Where-as, male bisexuality is uncommon and, generally, frowned upon at swingers parties, clubs etc., limiting men to their wife/SI and the other woman.

If a one-sided arrangement exists, where only one spouse gets to swing while the other watches(usually, the woman, from the postings I have seen), I see this as unfair and unbalanced.

However, if the pleasure is shared by all, BUT the third-party happens to be a woman, SO WHAT? There are far to many sincerely bi female swingers, who get tons of pleasure from other women, to cry foul just because there isn't also an extra penis there for the wife/SI to play with.

I'm not suggesting that limitations based on insecurity have any place in swinging for long, but, if everyone gets sex from the third party involved and everyone has all the orgasms they can handle for the night, everyone should be happy.

I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but a threesome with an extra guy, ends up with two guys pleasuring one woman. Where-as, a threesome with an extra woman usually ends up with one guy pleasuring two women and two women pleasuring each other. Again, pleasure and orgasms equally distributed, how can that possibly be unfair just because there isn't an extra penis for the woman to play with? In fact, in terms of equal distribution of sex, isn't a foursome with two bi females completely slanted towards the women? The men get two women each. The women get two men AND (usually)each other.

I understand that this doesn't fit if you are not bi or, at least, tri (try anything). But, we are talking specifically about bi women here.

All reasons and insecurities aside...I find it very interesting that a scenario where both spouses enjoy sex with women, can be considered unfair, because the wife doesn't also get a man to play with.

I think the difference is in ideology. You both are looking at this from the standpoint of potential desire and the freedom to satisfy those desires by whatever means...well...desired.

I'm talking, pure and simple, about fair and even distribution of sex. Guys who are only allowed to watch, even if it arouses them, are being stifled, while their wives/SI's get pleasure from others. Couples who share an interest in, and desire for women, where each can achieve pleasure with the other women, are NOT being stifled. Everybody gets to come with someone other than their spouse.

Again, I'm the devils advocate here. We (my wife and I) share equally (or, unequally, depending upon how you perceive this argument). But the question came up, what if both partners get pleasure, but it happens to be with a woman. Is that fair? I have to say, yes.