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Originally Posted by incommunicado :
"One Sided Swinging..." addressed couples that let the woman swing (w/ men or women, together or separate) but the man can't. I suggested that rules that feed the physical pleasure of one, while limiting the other, were unfair and unbalanced.
But... what if the swinging couple swings exclusively with women, because the husband is uncomfortable with the wife having sex with another man? Now, keep in mind, this scenario differs from "One Sided Swinging..." because both members are allowed to have sex with others, the others just happen to be women.
If both partners get to have sex with those women, aren't the scales of fair and equal exchange balanced? Even if their isn't another man involved?
Everyone gets to have sex with somebody else, right?
I'm curious to get the groups take in this one. |
The question in any case is not who does what with whom, but whether all parties are truly satisfied and more or less equally fulfilled.
No doubt, there are some relationships where the F half is truly and strongly bisexual, has no great desire for sex with another man, and is perfectly happy to limit herself to having sex with a woman whom she shares with her husband.
If so, good for them.
In our experience, however, this is rarely the case. Most of the time, when a couple specifically restricts themselves to sex with a F third, it's because, as you state it,
"the husband is uncomfortable with the wife having sex with another man."
Well, that's bullshit. Most straight or bi women, if given the chance and if they're truly honest with themselves, would enjoy the chance to casually sample some strange dick. Swinging is about the opportunity to explore and experiment, and something is wrong if one partner claims a certain amount of freedom, but restricts his partner's opportunities out of the insecurity or jealousy.
They may call it swinging, but to us it's just a fancy way to dress up cheating. To us they are pretty much on the same level as the cheaters who leave a wife at home while hoping to of enjoy a threesome at a club. It all comes down to a guy taking his own pleasure in his own way while his wife foreclosed from from doing the same.
Sorry to be so harsh, but our F half has had the chance to talk openly with a number of wives in this situation (i.e. couples who advertise that they're looking for a bi-female third). In most cases, the wife admits that she would prefer a man and has agreed to play with a woman mostly because this is what her husband wants. So even the F-F play is mainly for the husband's pleasure.