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Originally Posted by titanicmale What do you think and what do the following really mean:
1. "It's not that I don't love you."
2. "I love you, but I'm not sure I'm in love with you."
3. "He and I have a connection."
4. She doesn't want to give up his "friendship". |
IMO, the proper question would be, what does this mean to someone (you, her).
1, 3 and 4 are feelings I already had without disturbing my marriage... just because my wife already had the same feelings too, without disturbing our marriage.
Those are ways to express the feelings, and to analyze the feelings, that you're likely to find out in a polyamorous/poly-friendly someone's mindset.
What would worry me (someone with a poly-friendly mindset) is the 2nd statement, understaning it as "the love/tender feelings for you didn't change, the thrill and the atraction (currently) isn't the same".
I think the problem comes not from your wife's and your feelings, but from the different ways you have to think of them, and the expectations about your relationship.
It seem a mistake to start swinging without knowing each other expectations and mindsetting enough as to foresight this sort of problem could bring up, however, there's no reason to suspect there is some "evilness" nor a "selfinesh" involved from none of you two... You two are just more different than what you think.