The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Breaking the news to Wife that I intend to swing without her

***JustAskJulie*** · 01-12-2007, 07:43 PM

So what you are asking is how to tell your wife you want to cheat on her... or would that be how to get your wife's permission to cheat on her?

Either way, if she's not on board, it's not swinging! That doesn't mean that she has to swing or be willing to swing but she does have be cool with what you are doing. That said, as havefuninsun said, if her sex life sucks as bad as yours, she may be all for swinging with you. If she just wants to get you off her case about your lousy sex life she may also be on board.

Long story short. This isn't about telling your wife you want to have sex with other people, this is about the two of you discussing how bad your sex life is and what you'd like to do to fix it. You explaining that you are unfulfilled and giving her a chance to actually talk to you (and you listening) about what may be going on with her. It's entirely possible that her lack of sex drive has nothing to do with menapause and everything to do with a lack of desire for you.

So how do you talk to your wife? All I can think is how said it is that you've been married for 30 years and you still haven't learned how to talk to your wife. The number one key in communicating is to LISTEN. So instead of talking to her or telling her what she should do or what you want to do, try asking her some questions about herself and actually listening to what she has to say.

01-12-2007, 07:43 PM	#7 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,294 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Re: Breaking the news to Wife So what you are asking is how to tell your wife you want to cheat on her... or would that be how to get your wife's permission to cheat on her? Either way, if she's not on board, it's not swinging! That doesn't mean that she has to swing or be willing to swing but she does have be cool with what you are doing. That said, as havefuninsun said, if her sex life sucks as bad as yours, she may be all for swinging with you. If she just wants to get you off her case about your lousy sex life she may also be on board. Long story short. This isn't about telling your wife you want to have sex with other people, this is about the two of you discussing how bad your sex life is and what you'd like to do to fix it. You explaining that you are unfulfilled and giving her a chance to actually talk to you (and you listening) about what may be going on with her. It's entirely possible that her lack of sex drive has nothing to do with menapause and everything to do with a lack of desire for you. So how do you talk to your wife? All I can think is how said it is that you've been married for 30 years and you still haven't learned how to talk to your wife. The number one key in communicating is to LISTEN. So instead of talking to her or telling her what she should do or what you want to do, try asking her some questions about herself and actually listening to what she has to say.