to the board
Hi newbie4u, like others, I recognized your story immediately, via your husband's posts here about the situation.
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Originally Posted by newbie4u I understand that we can't take it to the next level but what's wrong with the flirting. My husband feels that I have feelings for him and I've tried to tell him that I don't...I have lust for him (it's lust i'm feeling). |
I can understand your husband's feelings very well. What is wrong with the flirting? For one, it's a very unequal situation. You have major lust for the other husband. There is nothing going on between your husband and the other wife.
For another, the man you lust for is your boss. You see him and work with him every day, correct? Are you lusting for him at work all day long? If I were your husband, I'd be thinking that.
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Originally Posted by newbie4u I love my husband, and I wish he could understand that. We had so much fun before this happened. We would love to talk about things for days. Now things aren't good. |
You broke his trust. You broke the rules that you had agreed on. Trust is earned, and it takes time to rebuild it once it's broken. Show your husband how much you respect, honor and love him by going out of your way to give him what he wants and needs...your devotion and attention. To be completely honest, I think you should either chill out completely about sex with your boss and decide that's a door you're never going through, or else start looking for another job. At a "vanilla" party with co-workers, you got drunk (
you don't get drunk at events with co-workers if you're smart), and you were flirting up the boss
and other people at that party in front of everybody. DUH?
swinging w/wifes boss (co owner) and his wife
To regain your husband's trust, stop mentioning to your husband what
you want and need (swinging, sex with your boss, flirting with people, etc.) and focus on his needs - and your needs as a couple.
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Originally Posted by newbie4u I guess I'm angry that I was given some candy and it was taken away  |
That's a child's reaction, not a mature woman's. It seems that you're a bit more concerned with what you had and don't have now, your candy, than you are with your husband's feelings. If I were in his shoes, I'd be feeling insecure about you, too.
I'm just being really honest with you...and I do hope that everything works out. I hope you make your marriage a top priority and get it back on track. Best wishes.
