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Originally Posted by newbie4u
...The husband & I really connected. My hubby & the wife really didn't have a connection (although, this really wasn't said until after...read on).
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I didn't see where you ever went on to explain why your hubby and the other wife really didn't have a connection.
I bring this part of your post up because I think this has a great impact on this whole story. You DO connect with and lust for the other guy, and you know it's only that.
Your husband apparently DOES NOT connect with and lust for the other woman. If he did I'd guess he'd be as enthusiastically pursuing the swing relationship with your friends as you are.
Maybe the tease bj wouldn't have bothered him a bit if he'd been as hot for the guy's wife. Swinging is about balance, and if either of you don't feel "into it" with a couple equally, issues will pop up.
Rules are set as guidelines to help us along, but they will get changed and broken. If everyone quit swinging after a first rule break, no one would be left swinging.
So you fucked up, but I don't think it has to be seen as all that big a deal. Instead, learn from it and ask your husband what REALLY is bothering him about the relationship with your friends, and about you. How do you both see things going from here with them? What's going to be best for the strength of YOUR relationship as husband and wife? That's what you have to consider. Put aside wanting to blame, shame, or forever hold over the other's head a mistake that's been made. You'll have a number of them crop up in swinging. It's how you handle them that will determine the strength between you.
LM