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Originally Posted by newbie4u Ok...here it is..We're new to swinging. We haven't had a full swap yet. We started this with friends. We usually go to a club (meet & greet) with these friends. The husband & I really connected. My hubby & the wife really didn't have a connection (although, this really wasn't said until after...read on). For a few months, it was a lot of flirting, kissing, etc. My husband was approving in every way even talked about doing a full swap with this couple. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of breaking one of our rules. My husband left us alone so that I could kiss him goodbye (the wife had too much to drink and went to bed) and I went a little further by teasing him with a 'sample/tease' bj (it was very short). My husband saw this through the door window. He was very upset but has forgiven me (to a point). We still associate with these friends (both of us want to continue going out with them) and still go to clubs but my husband has forbidden me to continue anything (even flirt) with this guy. I've tried to tell my husband that it is hard going out with these friends and going cold turkey (especially when we're in the environment)...I understand that we can't take it to the next level but what's wrong with the flirting. My husband feels that I have feelings for him and I've tried to tell him that I don't...I have lust for him (it's lust i'm feeling). I love my husband, and I wish he could understand that. We had so much fun before this happened. We would love to talk about things for days. Now things aren't good. I guess I'm angry that I was given some candy and it was taken away  |
Hi there,
I have once been in a "similar" situation where I, the husband, got very upset because my wife broke a rule (I am still very thankful for the people here, they were very supportive). I totally understand your husband point of view. Rules are rules, and are limits that you set so that none of you get upset.
From my own experience, I would say that you and your husband should sit down and talk, but it will take time. Time can heal at lot of things, but you should not haste anything. If you husband does not want you to do this or that with the other guy, you should respect that. You need to let the wound heal. If you don't respect your husband's "desires" you will cause the wound to open again and this could lead to disaster.
That being said, in my case, with hindsight, I realised that I should not have gotten upset. We all make mistakes. May be with time, he too, will realise that.
Anyway, I wish you all the best and would love to answer any question you might have. Feel free to pm me.