[catslaughing]

Sounds simple to me. You had a set of rules and those rules were violated. My wife and I have lines we do not cross, and we are both aware that things can happen that break those lines. We accept that nothing can happen in one night that can ruin our relationship but we are aware that things can occur that may strain it.

Now you have a few choices;
1. Stop Swinging
2. Readjust your rules so that you can both live with them

But let's make one thing absolutely positively clear, you cannot blame the alcohol. Alcohol can only be used as an excuse, not a reason for fault. Alcohol cannot make you do something you do not want to do, but for some reason we choose to let people use it as an excuse, that is purely bullshit.