[Larry & Michell]

We were staying soft swap, everything except intercourse. I was ok with absolutely everything with that limitation. But she went past that last night...she had too much to drink...I knew I wasn't ready to see certain things...I have to take some of the blame for not controlling the situation better...I always made it a point to tell any woman who I was eating, or who was sucking my cock "we don't do full swing"...she didn't...and at first I wasn't sure, so when they were done, I took her aside and asked if he fucked her...she said no...I said I was so relieved, I told her that thinking it was happening was ruining the night for me...then she went to the bathroom, came back, and said, she thinks maybe it did happen...OK, I can probably deal with that, he's aggressive, she's drunk...but then it happens again, she climbs on top of him...I knew I wasn't ready for that...it was so out of control...another guy there...It hurts so bad...Maybe in a few days I'll be totally over it...maybe I need to fuck a bunch of strangers...But right now it hurts so bad...I know a bunch of people are going to tell me its my own insecurities, I was asking for trouble, I want it to be all about me...whatever...It just hurts so bad...I know she loves me very much...Up till now I was planning on spending my life with this woman...It just hurts...so bad...