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Originally Posted by flkeyscouple I'm thinking about you having the fear of being left out - much more than the problem with this specific woman.
My thought is that maybe you should do a few more FMF's on a regular basis. You would be the center of attention and the more this happens the less you'd THINK about being left out. I'm sure that MrsVan is great about turning the attention back to you while with other couples, but in an FMF it wouldn't be a question - you WOULD be the center of attention. Now, I'm not suggesting not doing the FMFM or soft/full swaps - just sprinkle in a few more FMF's.
Of course in a perfect world the FMF's are plentiful. I'm hoping you already have an elusive unicorn to call on!! 
I'd say 'good luck' but I know you don't need it. Everything will work out just fine.
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I think I should do a few more FMFs too
. Just like we should all win the lottery too and get some of these Christmas bills taken care of. Here's the problem, an FMF certainly is not the answer to a fear of getting left out because so many gals out there are more interested in couples as a way to be with other chicks and not necessarily the guy. That being the case it would be a huge ego blow to get into an FMF situation and still be the one out in the cold.
No I still think they need to do some more shopping around and find a true full swap couple out there. This couple just isn't doing it for him and while he is being bummed about that and writing to us for advice, somewhere out there is a couple that is more interested in full swap than in F/F play.
Mr Van you are internalizing the issue and looking at it as if there is something wrong with you and it is something for you to fix. It isn't that, I am sure you are fine and there is nothing wrong with you and there isn't anything to be fixed. It is just part of the dynamics of the relationship you and your wife have with this particular couple. To me it just sounds like they (or at least she) is primarily interested in F/F play and not so much about full swap. Trouble is YOU are the one coming up on the short end of the stick and so you are the one with the legitimate grevience with the deal and I think you are well within your right to pursue grazing in other pastures. There is no good guy and no bad guy here it is just not working out well for you and that is very common. Just keep looking, they are out there.