Thanks folks for the comments. To answer a few questions. First MrsVan and the other lady have incredible chemistry and yes the other lady does reciprocate with MrsVan and quite a bit and quite well.
This couple is a soft swap couple which we have all talked about after we all tried a full swap and it just didn't work as the other wife wasn't ready. We didn't have any issues with them after that encounter and we have talked with both the husband and wife a lot to make sure that they were ok afterwards.
The reason why I asked her if there was an issue between the two of us is that when all the clothes are on, there is great chemistry and alot of flirting with between us. All of us seem to get along just fine when we are all dressed, but once the clothes fall off, she changes into someone that seems to only want to receive unless it she is giving to MrsVan. As I said before, the ball is in their court. I do realize that my question will most likely put them on the defensive, but I don't agree that by asking it that I am stating that she isn't putting out right. There isn't any right or wrong, just different preferences and I am only attempting to find out what hers/theirs are. If that is how they prefer to play, then that's ok, nothing wrong with it, just not what MrsVan and I are looking for and we can all just agree to move on.
Thanks again folks.
-Van