Well being new at this ourselves,besides what everyone else has stated,I will say it again. Read on what you want to do,you and know get a book about "Swingers for beginers" I think is the name,has a red cover. We read and talk about everything that came to mind that might brother each other and write down what he says are his limit in a four with a new partner. We only did solf-swing for the first year we were swinging. Look of the words on site here, all the different terms give you an idea on what to talk about that brothers each other. He sounds like he is not sure he can handle you and another man,he has concerns,just talk and as you realize how your mate feels,that is what all of thisswinging is about,developing more trust,understanding one another,your marriage and your committment to each other is always first. Happy Swingering