[iapr]

I have not read any of the other posts as I like to keep my first impressions original so forgive me if it has already been said.


First off keep in mind that many swinging couples lived traditional monogamous marriages for years before even coming up the idea of swinging and then a lot of them discussed it and thought it through for many months if not years before making any attempt to meet other people. So in comparisson to that you are already several steps ahead of the norm. Perhaps what your wife needs is the same as many other women that have eventually entered the lifestyle and that is to reach a point of stability and trust in the marriage and even a point in life to where you have the house and careers, you have the kids, the tubes have been tied, the cars are paid off, the kids don't need 24 hour attention and now can let your hair down and have some adult fun. That process often can't be rushed and the fact that you have experienced before doesn't atoumatically put you on the fast track. In other words you have now become like every other husband who wants to swing and who's wife doesn't. The more you push the more she will resist. You are just going to have to be pateint and let nature take it's course. The good news is she does seem adventurous and does like the envirment. And quite frankly while we are a full swap couple, what you are describing as your evenings out does sound like fun to me even so just keep enjoying it for what it is and call it good for now. The rest may come in time when she is ready as long as you don't bungle it.

Now as far as this coulseling thing, I have a bad feeling about this. Whenever you suggest to a partner that you see a counselor it is under the assumption of that something is terribly wrong and that a counselor is needed to fix it. so when you say hey honey lets go see a counselor about this swinging issue (I know those won't be your exact words but that is what she will hear) her mind is going to interpret that as you think SHE has a problem since she doesn't want to swing and you are dragging her to a coulelor to try and convince to swing. I know that is not your plan but that is how she will interpret it.

And other thing is if you do go to a couselor there is a very good chance that you will describe your past swinging experience and then describe all the deep and complex and intricate feelings on you and your wife and swinging and after the couselor has listened to you talk for an hour he/she is going to say, "let me see if I got this straight, you want to have sex with other women and want your wife to go with you?????"

Then while your wife is sitting there beside you the counselor will bash you up one side and down the other on how destructive adultry is to marriage and how you need to recous your energies into intimacy and monogomy. That will really change your wife's mind.