Thanks to Sereneiders for bringing up an interesting point: the use of "urges" in my original post. I guess I confused the word with "desires", which is what I should have used- in no way did I mean to imply that swinging is in any way, shape or form deviant or otherwise "wrong". In fact, I'm of the firm believe that as our society grows more and more relaxed when it comes to sex, swinging and those in the lifestyle will be able to be more open about their activities... for now it's still a cool, secret club, and that's what I'm missing.
Thanks also to several posters and folks who contacted me by email directly to let me know how lucky I was that my wife was at least willing to go to swing clubs, which in and of itself is pretty neat. We have a dialogue going about this whole issue, and I just scheduled a counselling appointment with a sex therapist to talk things over- I have intimacy issues as well, so it's not all about swinging.
My point is this, however: how does one go from meeting groups of friends & having lots of naked, sweaty fun *after* hanging out & shooting pool & generally doing what friends do, to hanging out with "vanilla" friends?? That seems like taking a step backwards to me, like going from a state of the art high definition television to a basic tube... with rabbit ears! I need to reconcile this and somehow adjust to it, because I'm fairly sure my wife will not go in the other direction. I respect her decision, I will not cheat on my wife, so an adjustment needs to be made on my part. That's where the counsellor comes in.
Again, many thanks to all who're listening and shooting me advice. Just knowing I can count on my fellow lifestylers to chime in makes this whole deal a lot easier to handle... Cheers and happy holidays!
Rob
decadentfun03@yahoo.com