Quote:
|
Originally Posted by capecoralcouple This one is a little personal for me since I had to deal with a cheating spouse.
...
The others are wrong though in that Karma will not catch up with him. Some cheaters just are never caught. It's as simple as that. Some are, some aren't. They are cheaters which by nature means they will not confess freely and will try not to be caught.
My advice to you would be of course to stop seeing this person, but also if you are able, a annonymous letter or message to the wife would be best. I know I may catch hell for suggesting that you get involved, but since my marriage fell apart because of that very reason, I did hold resentment towards those who knew, watched it happen, and turned their heads. Whether or not i have a right to be angry at those people was irrelevant, I was angry and could help feeling cheated by them too.
That's just my 2 cents.  |
Well, I don't want to be harsh, but I strongly disagree with you.
First, this doesn't seem to be
a little personal, but very personal.
The OP isn't responsible for whatever happend in your marriage. No one else but you and you spouse was responsible, and here I dare to say, not even your spouse lover holds responsibility here.
The OP had a really bad luck so far by meeting this guy, as to attempt to make her feel guilty from being cheated herself, and attempt to make her feel symphaty and responsibility for this guy's wife fate.
An annonymous letter? why shoud she hide being annonimity? perhaps to avoid the drama, or perhaps to avoid being judged by the wife... in any case, this alone means you know there's something wrong about getting her nose in this couple's life.
Now, you may hold resentment to those who witnessed your fate and din't do anything about it... which means, they didn't do what you expected, and here they could be wrong... or your expectations could be wrong as well. And I am serious here, but you should wonder why it took that much for you to find out your spouse was cheating on you. I'd ask you if you're not resented with YOURSELF because of this, and blaming others to avoid facing your share of responsibility for your fate.
As you said "
We should help each other becuase we would like to", but an anonymous letter may or may not help, it's like taking a gun and take a blind shoot over your head hoping to hunt a bird. As for this guy's wife, there's anything we can do to help her... but as for YOU, I wouldn't be doing you any favor if I remain silent here.
Because we use to bump over and over against the same stone, and this is painfull unless we learn from our own mistakes. Should you ever face a resembling situation (not necesarily being cheated by your spouse, but any sort of betrayal), would you expect others to make you aware of what's going on, to the point of blaming on them if they don't, or would you expect to learn on how to foresight the danger you have in your path?
Again, I don't want to be harsh, just to call your attention. As we grow older it's harder to blame on others for our fate... mostly because most of the times, we forget about what we blidly did to get our own heads inside the lion's jaw.