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Originally Posted by Darkblue Do you all really think you need to have to have friendship in order to swing with the other party?? and whatever the answer is please explain if possible why? |
This is a great question!
Starting with the basics, we need to feel some degree of excitement at the prospect of a sexual encounter with a couple in order to play. To what extent, then, is “friendship” necessary for us to feel that minimally sufficient degree of sexual excitement?
In general, we are drawn to couples whom we find “interesting.” A couple may be interesting because we have a number of things in common (similar life experiences, similar backgrounds, come from the same part of the country, etc.). However, commonality of interests and experiences is not necessarily a prerequisite for a couple to qualify as “interesting.” We have been with couples with whom we had little in common but who were nonetheless interesting because they exuded personality and a zest for fun and for life. Also, we admit to being shallow in the sense that physical attraction and/or availability and willingness to play are factors in whether a couple qualifies as “interesting.” So, for example, a more minimal level of interest may be needed when we are playing at a house party than would ordinarily be required for us to seek out a couple on line simply because we are all there and we are all playing.
So, how does “friendship” factor into whether we find a couple “interesting” or not? Well, I don’t think that we would play with any couple with whom we did not think, at the time, we would want to be friendly. But, that being said, just because we like to think of ourselves as friendly with the couples with whom we want to play does not mean that we have to have a relationship based upon that friendliness in place before we move into the bedroom. We have a limited amount of time to play and lives in the vanilla world demanding our attention. When we are looking for possible playmates, we are primarily interested in finding couples with similar interests and similar goals--couples with whom we might want to have a drink or see a movie but with whom we have far more interesting and exciting activities available as options.
So, if “friendship” is intended to mean developing a relationship outside the bedroom before moving into the bedroom, the answer has to be that, for us, “friendship” is not important at all.