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What you are searching for depends upon nearly perfect chemistry not just between two people, but between all four and in all four directions. That means that your hubby and the other wife need to be compatible, you have to be compatible with the other hubby, you have to hit it off with the other wife and your hubby has to hit it off with the other hubby. If the chemistry is not perfect, then one or another of the primary relationships is threatened. For example, if you hit is off with the other hubby but your hubby doesn't mesh equally well with the other wife, it is likely that both your hubby and the other wife will feel a little like they are on the outside looking in. In our experience, the wife will then feel as though her husband's relationship with you is a threat to her own relationship with her husband. She will then decide to pull her hubby away from you and end the relationship.
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Lookingfornow,
Thanks for your post. I have to say that what made it so disappointing is that for all of the couples we have met over the last year (and we have been extremely blessed) we have found amazing people to hang out with. Not only in the aspect that we all have a good time together but we ALL connect. This couple that I am talking about, I got along really great with the wife and the husband and vice versa for MrVan. So it was not that any of us felt left out so to speak but we all truely got along really well.
It is that way for all of the couples we meet. I am not saying that all of them end this way as we have some that are really great friends and because they are so far away from us it makes it difficult to get together more. But maybe that distance helps us to remain such good friends and then be able to have the added benefits that go with it when we are together.
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Also, some swingers that we have met are defintely avoiding the type of ongoing relationship that you appear to be seeking. This group of couples (and, I guess we would be among them) is looking for playmates first and really don't want any ongoing entanglements.
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We have heard this before many times on the board and completely understand that. But the couples we have met up with talked about having that same type of frienship and I guess maybe they are just saying it to say it, I don't know. But MrVan and I care deeply about everyone who walks into our lives. There is always a place for them and no matter what, we treat everyone the way that we want to be treated.
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You guys are a great looking couple and your profile and pictures exude personality and a fun loving nature. You should have plenty of options for playing (for example--if you are ever up in Cleveland....). So, our suggestion would be to tune down the desire for immediate friendships and relationships and increase the focus on just plain sexual fun. We are not suggesting that you play with everyone all the time. But, maybe, if you set up a larger number of play dates with a variety of couples and take the emphasis off the immediate conversion into life long friends, you will have a better chance of finding what you seek.
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So you have been perving our profile huh?
We really appreciate the compliment and we always hope that our pictures show the people we truely are. I will take the suggestions given here and try to focus more on those that we meet and if they just come and go then it wasn't meant to be but every couple and single touches us in some way as it was a memory created and guess I just need to leave it at that I guess.
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We think, over time, you are bound to find that one or those two couples who have the same interests as you and with whom you will have the requisite balance of mutual physical and emotional interest.
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We already have but they are so far away.
Thanks again for the advise!
MrsVan