MrsVan

I am going to start off by apologizing for the long post but I need some advise or support I should say.

MrVan and I are really enjoying the lifestyle and the friends that we have made but we have seemed to run into some situations where for me has become hard to handle. Our first couple that we met was incredible and became really good friends both on the lifestyle and "vanilla" level. However, after several months they decided it was time for them to get out of the lifestyle for now because they had been in the lifestyle for many years and needed "their" time and that is understandable to me. But now we chat here and there on IM but nothing like it use to be.

So on with the search we continue...We have found other couples whom we have become really good friends with and enjoy being around them in all types of settings but they are further away from us so it makes it hard to just pick up the phone and say "hey, you guys want to go out tonight?".

So MrVan and I had recently come across a couple who was around our age, lived very close to us and had similar interests and we all got along really well. They were a soft swap couple where MrVan and I enjoy full swap. We had met up with them a few times and even called them last minute just to go hang out at the mall or get together at our house to hang out. They had talked with us and brought up several times that they had not met a couple that they could feel comfortable in doing a full swap with and it was something they were thinking of considering doing. So the other weekend, we had them over and went out to dinner. We played some pool, relaxed in the hot tub and as things got hot we then went to the bedroom to play. Things were going really well and MrVan had asked her if it was okay that he have sex with her and she said "yes" so after a while of them going at it, I asked the wife if it was okay that I had her husband and she said "yes". Things got rough for the wife as it was the first time she had watched the husband with someone else. Again completely understandable and therefore we all stopped and layed around, cuddled and just talked. We would never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or feel any pressure from us so we called it quits. No problem.Things seemed to have been going really well while we laid around talking. They had planned on staying the night at our house and well, after we all went to bed we heard a knock on our bedroom door and it was the husband saying they were just going to head out. Things seemed to have went really well and I thought MrVan and I handled the situation well but now I am confused as to what happened. Since then we have not talked to them. I have sent her an email also tried to IM them and they do not respond. MrVan has talked with her briefly and the husband. But I do not understand what happened?

Granted we love the lifestyle for the sex and all the pleasures it has to offer. But why is it so disappointing and hurtful when a couple decides to split without saying why?

I do not have many friends at all. My first husband drove all my friends away that I had while married to him and now I struggle to find those that I can get along with and have similar interests. The friends that I have made that I enjoy hanging out with are farther away from me so it is hard to just call and go hang out when you need a friend to hang out with. But it seems that we begin to like a couple and become good friends and then they disappear. It has gotten to the point for me where it makes it hard for me to want to get close to a couple for the reasons that again I am afraid that I am going to get too close and enjoy our friendship and then one day they decide to disappear.

Am I asking too much out of the lifestyle to be looking for a woman that I could become friends with? MrVan knows that I long to have some girl friends to hang out with and the woman at work that I have become friends with are all different than me but I enjoy being around them.

So any advise or thoughts you can give me would be great! I do not want this to affect how I enjoy the lifestyle (if this makes sense) but it just gets to be disappointing when this happens lately.

Thanks for listening.

MrsVan