You asked about the meanings of the things she said...so I'll give you MY take on it without knowing the ENTIRE situation.
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1. "It's not that I don't love you."
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- She probably followed this with a "But I have/want/need to...(fill in the blank). She is attempting to justify what is about to come out of her mouth and what she's been doing.
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2. "I love you, but I'm not sure I'm in love with you."
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-This is a phrase commonly used by those who think they have found the greener grass on the other side of the fence. Yeah, she still KNOWS in her head that she loves you, but someone else is making her heart race/palms sweat/stomach tingle, so she's getting confused. She's think "OH!...it will be SOO much better with him." When really, it probably won't be.
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3. "He and I have a connection."
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Yes...they do...they swing together and are probably friends and possibly have romantic feelings towards one another. However - her feeling of connection are amplified by something she perhaps once got from you, but isn't getting anymore. I don't mean sexually. I mean emotionally. With this phrase she is really shouting "WHERE DID OUR CONNECTION GO?!?!"
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4. She doesn't want to give up his "friendship".
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-Now this is the king of her ridiculous statements. They can BE friends. Well - they COULD have been. Now it's probably gone too far. Everyone in their lifetime will have to give up a friend that isn't "good for them". She should probably realize he is not good for her and drop him like a bad habit. She really means she doesn't want to give up his sex and whatever kind of weird emotional thing they have going.
Those are just my views on her statements. I agree with the others when they say you should talk to the husband, but why not talk to the husband and the wife? She MAY not know about it. Then you better believe she'd be working as hard as you to get them in check. HOWEVER - getting them "in check" isn't good enough. Sit down and talk to your wife. I know it will be hard, but try to do so without shouting and name calling and saying things you can't take back. Ask her what she needs from YOU. Ask her what you can do to bring back the connection and the partnership and the respect. Then if you decide you want to save this marriage - attempt to do those things. And ask her for what you need too! 2-way street, my friend.