I am sorry that you are in this position,based on the fact you have children I know you are working hard to save the marriage. I would work on me,read the information on this board,try to change your outlook on the lifestyle. I would try to go into the lifestyle,slowly, solf swing. To be happy in the lifestyle you must have a good marriage you do not,you will need his emotional support,the long talks that need to be honest(not sure he can or wants too)A lot of the lifestyle is the togetherness,your love for each other and the enjoyment of being in it together. His whole out look on life and the (need) for sex with others,we take part in it to enjoy each other's pleasure. It was hard for me to over come the old out look toward this lifestyle,but I wanted to change because that was the only way my husband would agree to do the three. It took me a year of talking,crying, and meeting couples for solf-swing,before I was able to take hold of the lifestyle and enjoy like I was suppose. There are still times that I get a knot in my brain,we talk about whatever I am feeling or up tight about and it goes away. You will need your husband's love and support to enjoy this lifestyle and an open marriage would be hell for you. For any rules leave the women at work off of the list, you do the interviewing and chooseing the women,try a FMF 3som and see how he treats you during this,oh by the way in a FMF the extra female is not the center of attention but you the wife is the way I feel,all are pleasured.