The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Ultimatum: Let me sleep with another woman or I'm leaving

mnsnen · 11-21-2006, 01:23 PM

Well, good news to all! I called him earlier and told him that I ordered him a book. That no matter what happens between us, I feel like he needs help. He agreed to read it. He even mentioned that us having so much sex latley is making him worse. To me, that says alot. He wants me to know that us having sex twice a day is hurting, not helping.
I had him read some of the posts on here last night. He was very open minded and agreed with somethings. Maybe it's opening his eyes that he is making a very bad choice by giving me an ultimatum. (that he is making decisions based on the compulsion of a problem)
I am going to have him read some more of the posts today, so if anyone has anything to say to him (opinions/advice) please do so. Maybe he will post some of his own thougts himself.
I also want to add that my personal intrest in swinging isn't "because" of him.
I know that for something like that to work it would have to be in a relationship that was very strong and open.
I had never thought of it before him. But that doensn't mean its out of pressure from him. We married when I was 20 and I just hadn't had much of a sex life before him. He was the 1st one that I ever really got into sex with. He is the 1st that I role played with, used toys with, the 1st to really ever get me turned on. I was just young and hadn't experienced much before him.
I had never even heard of swinging before him. I led a very sheltered life. I had (and still do) beliefs based on what I feel is right or wrong for me. When I was 1st introduced to the idea of people swinging I thought, (THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!!) Mind you, before Mr.MNSNEN I had never even seen porn more than 2 times and wasn't comfortable with it. Now I love to put a little porn on while we are fooling around sometimes. Its not because he pressured me into doing it. I just realized that just because my dad says "thats bad" doesn't really mean it is. I guess I am just saying that I wouldn't do anything that I wasn't comfortable doing. I am not saying I would ever be comfortable swinging, I don't know, but I wouldn't venture into it just to try and save my relationship. I would never do it unless I was with someone that I had complete trust and wonderful communication with.
I know I sound confused a lot right now, thats because I am. But I think people got the wrong idea about my thoughts and reasons for being somewhat interested in swinging.
I wanted to clarify that its not about trying to keep him.
Anyway, I think he may be willing to try and get a little help. I think his biggest obstacle will be finding it in himself to say he doesn't want to feel that way anymore. He has taken a large step in admitting he needs help. He just said it feels so good to him. That when he sees someone he wants-that he FEELS it and he likes that feeling. Just like a drug addict. It feels good to them thinking they may get another line. So send some luck his way!
hugs and kisses to everyone here. I really respect everyones opinions and input so much and appreciate everything!!!!!!!!!!

11-21-2006, 01:23 PM	#20 (permalink)
mnsnen Registered Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 4 Location: ky Status: couple	Re: So confused!!! (long post) Well, good news to all! I called him earlier and told him that I ordered him a book. That no matter what happens between us, I feel like he needs help. He agreed to read it. He even mentioned that us having so much sex latley is making him worse. To me, that says alot. He wants me to know that us having sex twice a day is hurting, not helping. I had him read some of the posts on here last night. He was very open minded and agreed with somethings. Maybe it's opening his eyes that he is making a very bad choice by giving me an ultimatum. (that he is making decisions based on the compulsion of a problem) I am going to have him read some more of the posts today, so if anyone has anything to say to him (opinions/advice) please do so. Maybe he will post some of his own thougts himself. I also want to add that my personal intrest in swinging isn't "because" of him. I know that for something like that to work it would have to be in a relationship that was very strong and open. I had never thought of it before him. But that doensn't mean its out of pressure from him. We married when I was 20 and I just hadn't had much of a sex life before him. He was the 1st one that I ever really got into sex with. He is the 1st that I role played with, used toys with, the 1st to really ever get me turned on. I was just young and hadn't experienced much before him. I had never even heard of swinging before him. I led a very sheltered life. I had (and still do) beliefs based on what I feel is right or wrong for me. When I was 1st introduced to the idea of people swinging I thought, (THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!!) Mind you, before Mr.MNSNEN I had never even seen porn more than 2 times and wasn't comfortable with it. Now I love to put a little porn on while we are fooling around sometimes. Its not because he pressured me into doing it. I just realized that just because my dad says "thats bad" doesn't really mean it is. I guess I am just saying that I wouldn't do anything that I wasn't comfortable doing. I am not saying I would ever be comfortable swinging, I don't know, but I wouldn't venture into it just to try and save my relationship. I would never do it unless I was with someone that I had complete trust and wonderful communication with. I know I sound confused a lot right now, thats because I am. But I think people got the wrong idea about my thoughts and reasons for being somewhat interested in swinging. I wanted to clarify that its not about trying to keep him. Anyway, I think he may be willing to try and get a little help. I think his biggest obstacle will be finding it in himself to say he doesn't want to feel that way anymore. He has taken a large step in admitting he needs help. He just said it feels so good to him. That when he sees someone he wants-that he FEELS it and he likes that feeling. Just like a drug addict. It feels good to them thinking they may get another line. So send some luck his way! hugs and kisses to everyone here. I really respect everyones opinions and input so much and appreciate everything!!!!!!!!!!