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Originally Posted by Mrs.PaganLovers What you are proposing by going along with swinging, knowing it isn't what you want, isn't swinging. You are being drug into it against your will to hold on to a man. |
Original poster,
There
are couples like this in swinging. Couples such as those of us posting to you, we try to have radar for this situation to
avoid couples like this. It only ends badly, for everyone. When women reluctantly join a husband for swinging, and it's something they really wish they didn't have to do - they'd much rather just have their husband's attention and be monogamous - swinging with other people is disastrous. If I knew where to find the links, I'd show you many stories like this that end BADLY. They're scattered throughout this board and other places on the 'net. The disaster stories are usually written not by the couple in your shoes, but by the couple that ended up behind closed doors with them and had the misfortune of seeing the drama unravel....a woman sitting there looking crushed and stricken, as she watches her husband fuck another woman like mad (ignoring his wife's distress), crying, hiding in the bathroom until it's over, and more. Or maybe the reluctant wife is dutifully
enduring and tolerating the swap, as if it's a human sacrifice -
not enjoying it. Imagine being in the other couple's shoes.
Swinging is for couples with very strong and stable, open and honest relationships. It's for couples in which BOTH partners truly want and desire it. Most importantly, these couples want and desire the happiness of their partner, and wouldn't do anything that their beloved partner wasn't 100% comfortable and happy with. Cheaters are not open and honest people - they're willing and able to lie to their spouse and cover up what they do (he's cheated on you) - causing you much pain - putting his immediate pleasures above your needs and your happiness. It's only with a very deep, sure, solid trust between two people that you can proceed successfully into this. And even as you proceed, you need lots of open and honest communication every step along the way with swinging.
Whatever you choose in the future - Hugs and best wishes to you!