Hi mnsnen, welcome to this board. There are many thoughtful and very wise people on this board, as you have already discovered.
Before I answer your question, I want to say that based on everything you shared about your husband and what he wants to do (already cheated; now wants to mess around with his co-workers), doing these things is NOT "the lifestyle". This is not swinging, at all. Swinging is something that a couple does together. Yes, there are "open marriages" out there, but not that many, not what we see here. Even "open" marriages are with the consent of both parties and they're happy with their situation. There are NO ultimatums. The couples here are participating together. They go into this willingly, both of them as a team, and they forge their own way by creating their own guidelines and way of going about it that suit them both. They do it for their mutual pleasure. To learn much more about it, you may be interested in reading the FAQ's here. Keep on reading here, and you'll learn a great deal about the truth of swinging. There are many false ideas about what it is, but you'll get the truth here.
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Originally Posted by mnsnen If your spouse said they didn't want to live this "lifestyle" anymore, how would you feel? Would you really be okay, or would it end up causing problems. |
Before we started, my husband and I discussed this. We both agreed that if at any time, for any reason, we didn't want to participate - either that night, that month, that year or for the rest of our lives, we would be okay with that. Neither of us wants to be here without the other. It's the presence and the participation of each other that turns us on so much. We are turned on to this because we are experiencing this together. This is an enhancement to the great sex life we already have. When we started, we weren't dissatisfied with our sex life. It was dymamic and very hot. This was just something to add for spice, for us. It's like a hot couple who has awesome sex, but sometimes they spice it up with a porn movie, a trip out of town, sexy clothes, sex toys, role play, etc...these things are just for added spice, shared together. Swinging is just spice for us. It's not at all what defines our marriage, our love, our sex life, our desire for each other. In other words, swinging is disposable. We don't
need it. If it comes to an end, we both are very assured that it won't hurt our marriage or our sexual lust for each other.
Having read many posts here written by many other happily married swinging couples, I know that many other swinging couples feel the same way.
I hope this helps.