The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Ultimatum: Let me sleep with another woman or I'm leaving

mnsnen · 11-20-2006, 06:19 PM

Man, you guys rock!! I love the honesty here. Thank you SOOO much for all your replies! (THis isn't something I can talk to about with just anyone) But I do think I should mention that when I said I am a good girl with certain morals and values, I don't want to be misunderstood. I am not a christian. I will not be going against something I REALLY can't deal with on a religious basis.
Also, I do understand that he probobly is a sex addict. He knows that too, to a degree. But he has refused help in the past to get help. (I don't think he is bad, he doens't sit around watching porn 24/7 or anything. Most of his desires occur while we are having sex, and with all the friggin' women he works with. )
And I also want to mention that when he 1st told me this (my chioce) my 1st reaction was HELL NO!! But the more I thought about it, the more ok I became.
Actaully a little excited by the idea. I guess the main thing that bothers me is the way he put it. That I had a choice and that was it. We had discussed swinging in the past, I usually played along just to excite him and he knew that. But HONESTLY it is something that I may have tried with the right couple.
I feel like everyone is attacking him. So, I just want to say that he is very good to me in many ways. I am NOT just saying that. He is a good husband. He isnt just some ass who is trying to get his way. He was just being honest with me. But maybe I am just a fool in love. I just think in reality, most men cheat and they do it b/c the urge is to strong. So why not just accept it. I know this sounds pathetic, but REALLY.....how many people do you know that have cheated? I know plenty, and that usually just leads to guilt and in turn that leads the relationship into real crap. So I feel like if I let him do this (only if I am ok with the person, time, etc.) that I won't be a "fool" in love. I will know. And we will take the relationship maintenance to the next level. I think in order to live this type of lifestyle you MUST put 110% in your marriage at all times. He and I both know this and I really think we will put extra effort into our relationship.
He shouldn't have gotten married. He knows that and I know that. But we did. Now we are in love and have this amazing family. There is just so much to loose just because of sex.
Well, I better stop typing b4 this gets to long and no one wants to read this!
Thank you all so much
So, due to the responses here I was wondering.......
If your spouse said they didn't want to live this "lifestyle" anymore, how would you feel? Would you really be okay, or would it end up causing problems.

11-20-2006, 06:19 PM	#6 (permalink)
mnsnen Registered Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 4 Location: ky Status: couple	Re: So confused!!! (long post) Man, you guys rock!! I love the honesty here. Thank you SOOO much for all your replies! (THis isn't something I can talk to about with just anyone) But I do think I should mention that when I said I am a good girl with certain morals and values, I don't want to be misunderstood. I am not a christian. I will not be going against something I REALLY can't deal with on a religious basis. Also, I do understand that he probobly is a sex addict. He knows that too, to a degree. But he has refused help in the past to get help. (I don't think he is bad, he doens't sit around watching porn 24/7 or anything. Most of his desires occur while we are having sex, and with all the friggin' women he works with. ) And I also want to mention that when he 1st told me this (my chioce) my 1st reaction was HELL NO!! But the more I thought about it, the more ok I became. Actaully a little excited by the idea. I guess the main thing that bothers me is the way he put it. That I had a choice and that was it. We had discussed swinging in the past, I usually played along just to excite him and he knew that. But HONESTLY it is something that I may have tried with the right couple. I feel like everyone is attacking him. So, I just want to say that he is very good to me in many ways. I am NOT just saying that. He is a good husband. He isnt just some ass who is trying to get his way. He was just being honest with me. But maybe I am just a fool in love. I just think in reality, most men cheat and they do it b/c the urge is to strong. So why not just accept it. I know this sounds pathetic, but REALLY.....how many people do you know that have cheated? I know plenty, and that usually just leads to guilt and in turn that leads the relationship into real crap. So I feel like if I let him do this (only if I am ok with the person, time, etc.) that I won't be a "fool" in love. I will know. And we will take the relationship maintenance to the next level. I think in order to live this type of lifestyle you MUST put 110% in your marriage at all times. He and I both know this and I really think we will put extra effort into our relationship. He shouldn't have gotten married. He knows that and I know that. But we did. Now we are in love and have this amazing family. There is just so much to loose just because of sex. Well, I better stop typing b4 this gets to long and no one wants to read this! Thank you all so much So, due to the responses here I was wondering....... If your spouse said they didn't want to live this "lifestyle" anymore, how would you feel? Would you really be okay, or would it end up causing problems.