The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Ultimatum: Let me sleep with another woman or I'm leaving

ohash01 · 11-20-2006, 04:30 PM

Ultimatums like that should NEVER be given. You shouldn't have to choose between letting your husband cheat and him leaving. It's unfair. You'll probably never be okay with it. If it had been something you two had decided TOGETHER...you could probably make it work. But he said "I need to have sex with others...too bad...don't care if it's okay with you...just letting you know."

I never thought I'd be saying this on these boards...but sexual addiction is a problem. There's a HUGE difference between being a swinger, being adventurous, being open...and what your husband is telling you he wants to do. Swinging is a joint decision. It sound to me like your husband may have a sexual addiction problem. I can't remember the address, but there's a wonderful "spouses of sexual addicts" page out there. My mother used it when my father when loco...I've used it when I ran into BFs with issues. I'll try to find it.

If you decide that you want him to stay with you and are okay with it, I wish you the best of luck. But if it were me...and J. was saying that to me...it'd be hard as hell, but I'd probably say "adios".

11-20-2006, 04:30 PM	#2 (permalink)
ohash01 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 535 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	Re: So confused!!! (long post) Ultimatums like that should NEVER be given. You shouldn't have to choose between letting your husband cheat and him leaving. It's unfair. You'll probably never be okay with it. If it had been something you two had decided TOGETHER...you could probably make it work. But he said "I need to have sex with others...too bad...don't care if it's okay with you...just letting you know." I never thought I'd be saying this on these boards...but sexual addiction is a problem. There's a HUGE difference between being a swinger, being adventurous, being open...and what your husband is telling you he wants to do. Swinging is a joint decision. It sound to me like your husband may have a sexual addiction problem. I can't remember the address, but there's a wonderful "spouses of sexual addicts" page out there. My mother used it when my father when loco...I've used it when I ran into BFs with issues. I'll try to find it. If you decide that you want him to stay with you and are okay with it, I wish you the best of luck. But if it were me...and J. was saying that to me...it'd be hard as hell, but I'd probably say "adios".