The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Male went down on me. Wife liked it, I'm turned off.

friskymonkey · 11-14-2006, 06:59 PM

Comm, it sounds like you're being a pretty good sport about this. Certainly a better sport than I would be if a similar situation happened to me.

When swinging, I am trusting everyone involved -- especially my husband -- to keep me feeling safe and not take advantage of me or exploit me when I'm making myself vulnerable and open. If my husband pulled a stunt like the one you described I would be hurt and angry beyond words. I'm not sure how I would regain my trust of him enough to put myself in that situation again.

Did your wife definitely know that you didn't want any MM interaction? Afterward did you tell her you didn't like it and don't want to do it again? Is she willing to listen to what you want in addition to telling you what makes her hot?

There is certainly room for mistakes and missteps in this lifestyle. But if your wife knew you were opposed to this and did it anyway without your knowledge or consent ... then if after you told her it upset you she continues to pressure instead of capitulating and being sorry and supportive of your choice ... well, in my book, that is just very very bad. I would have been appalled.

11-14-2006, 06:59 PM	#14 (permalink)
friskymonkey Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 20 Location: SF bay area Status: couple	Re: Puzzled Comm, it sounds like you're being a pretty good sport about this. Certainly a better sport than I would be if a similar situation happened to me. When swinging, I am trusting everyone involved -- especially my husband -- to keep me feeling safe and not take advantage of me or exploit me when I'm making myself vulnerable and open. If my husband pulled a stunt like the one you described I would be hurt and angry beyond words. I'm not sure how I would regain my trust of him enough to put myself in that situation again. Did your wife definitely know that you didn't want any MM interaction? Afterward did you tell her you didn't like it and don't want to do it again? Is she willing to listen to what you want in addition to telling you what makes her hot? There is certainly room for mistakes and missteps in this lifestyle. But if your wife knew you were opposed to this and did it anyway without your knowledge or consent ... then if after you told her it upset you she continues to pressure instead of capitulating and being sorry and supportive of your choice ... well, in my book, that is just very very bad. I would have been appalled.