[Tybee Swing]

Hi Steve, I'm confused about some of this. Can you clarify?

Originally Posted by Darkblue

Rules are good when you start swinging, had them and some we still do! but rules are there to be broken/bent, we have met a couple where the Chemistry between myself and the female is huge never have i felt chemistry so strong

Stonger than anything you ever felt, even more than for your wife? As a wife, I would hate to hear this from my husband. Honest or not, this would hurt to hear. I think a lot of wives may feel that way.

Originally Posted by Darkblue

Rules are good when you start swinging, had them and some we still do! but rules are there to be broken/bent, we have met a couple where the Chemistry between myself and the female is huge never have i felt chemistry so strong, and we both want to do full swop,

Who's we? You and the other wife?

Originally Posted by Darkblue

now considering this i told my wife weeks ago i was interested in this and she was more of a NO but never really said anything against it st the time, now we/i am this far she has said she wont do Full swop with him and i can with her but she doesnt like the idea,

in the same sentence she also says she does like the idea of Full swop as it gets her going as well!!

she tells the other guy that she wont do full swop with him, then tells him she needs more time,She also tells me that she might when she is in the Club?

It sounds like she's probably not ready for full swap. It sounds like she wants to please you and rush along at your schedule of readiness, but she's not there. It's also possible she's not all that turned-on to this other man, the way you are turned-on to that man's wife. Has she told you WHY she doesn't want to do full swap with this man? When she's waffling on whether she'll play with that man or not, it might be her trying to talk herself into going along with all of this to please you, knowing how much you want that other woman.

Originally Posted by Darkblue

Now if she has sex with another women isnt that more or less the same as a Full swop as i wont be taking part in their fun...I am not BI so i wont be playing with him..

Many couples consider girl/girl play to be a part of soft swing. Would you be there watching? What a lot of couples do at that point is the girls play while the guys watch and get turned-on, and then they have same-room sex, each with their own partner. It can be very exciting as an exhibitionist/voyeur experience of having sex in the same room as another couple. One of the standard definitions of soft swing is "anything except intercourse with others". Could be making out with others, girl/girl play, oral, etc.

Originally Posted by Darkblue

I am also her first man and she hasnt been with another man..

You also mentioned that she might want to play with a woman, but it sounded like she hasn't done that either - right? So, she's a woman that's never been with a man besides you, and hasn't been with a woman, so all of this is very new to her. It's going to be a huge step with her to do all sorts of sexual things with other people.

What is your history with swinging, so far? Any activity at all? Just playing around or making out a little?? I don't understand where you two are in swinging right now.

Originally Posted by Darkblue

I went into swinging for her, i wasnt into it as such but now i have licked blood i want more!! i have done a lot of research into swinging and i want to progress and not stay treading on the same spot!! I want to her to have fun and she has been having fun!!

What have you been doing so far? I got the impression that to date she has not been with another man aside from you, and she hasn't been with a woman, either...is that right? The swinging was her idea to start with? What did she state her goals were with swinging?

Originally Posted by Darkblue

The rules were there so we both knew where we stood and the rules were fine then but now they no longer fit our situation and they as in all rules can be broken/Bent(if both partys agree)

What rules were changed, exactly? It's typical for a couple to change rules as they go along with swinging, and after both of them have experienced things in a way that tells them both, "we don't need that rule, we've proven that to ourselves with our experiences". Have you two even really tested the waters yet, to know what rules work and what don't?

I think I'm missing something.

Originally Posted by Darkblue

I trust my wife 110% and she says she trust´s me!! she has also said if i go and have my fun then only with a condom which is a must anyway, she even likes the idea of watching and doing 3/4 some... dont ask i dont know either what she wants!!

So, you two are talking about going separately, pursuing sexual activities not as a couple but individually? This is considered pretty hardcore by many couples. It's more like an open marriage, rather than swinging. Many of us don't and won't ever go separately like that, for many reasons. We consider this something we're in together, as a couple only. There are couples that play in separate rooms, etc....but generally speaking it's considered more "advanced", for lack of a better word.

I think there needs to be a LOT more communicating and figuring out just where you're going with this, and what kind of swingers you plan to be. Virtually every couple has limits and some sort of comfort zone to work in. Yours sounds very undefined. Together? Separate conquests? I'm not following.

Best wishes!