Maybe try coming up with some kind of clever T-shirt or pants/underwear that get the idea across.

Something that just screams, 'Touch any of this without asking and you lose the offending body part.'
I'm afraid I'm not too clever about stuff like this, so does anyone have any clever T-shirt punchlines that would get this idea across? Something that ends in 'Offenders will have their balls removed (by an angry husband with a dull spoon).'?