I have a recurring problem and I could use your opinions and thoughts on this. This thing happens to me SO OFTEN, it's led me to believe that it's the norm in situations at clubs and parties. I really, really dislike this and there's no way to fend it off
before it starts to happen. I wish there were. All that's left is to react to it after it starts to happen.
The situation: We'll be at a house party or a club, the kinds of places that are "no expectations" settings. Things start to get mildly playful, such as during an icebreaker game or something, or dancing, etc. Women will come up to me and start flirting. That's great.
Almost instantaneously, a man I don't know and possibly haven't even
seen, comes up on me and starts with the hands all over me. It turns out to be her husband.
Sometimes, I've been briefly introduced to the man in passing. Maybe we even exchanged a sentence. But always, these are men I haven't flirted with nor have they flirted with me, or charmed me in any way. But,
just because their wife is flirting with me and maybe I kiss her back, suddenly he has the RIGHT to start feeling me up?? Usually she's in front of me and she and I are having some sort of face-to-face interaction, sometimes quite mild, and this sleeze-ball comes up behind me to sandwich me in.
Do any of you
do this?
Do any of you see this going on?
Does this happen to you?
It's happening to me just about every time we go to the parties now.
If I was attracted to the man and if we'd been flirting, I'd be glad for this to be happening. But that's not the case. Yes, I like men and I'm not the "married lesbian" that people on this board talk about. I just have to know a guy a little more and get attracted, before he's laying his hands on me. I need a man to flirt me up and talk to me, first. I'll be attracted to some, but definitely not all of the men there.
I'm getting the vibe that this is the way certain couples prey on women in the club, whom they may have picked out of the pack. I have a feeling this is their M.O. Then they circle her and zone in, baiting her with a friendly woman, and then a minute or two later, the man goes in behind her for the kill. It's like Wild Kingdom or something. By the way, this isn't even naked or semi-naked, and it's not even in the sex areas. It's in the main area. But to be honest, even in the sex area, I DO NOT want some man coming up behind me uninvited and putting his hands all over me. Talk to me, get to know me, turn me on, and THEN we'll see if you can slide up on me.
Anybody else?? This has happened so many times, I'm ready to pin a sign on my ass saying "Keep away, unless you've talked to The Face and gotten permission first" Arrrgh! I'm just frustrated with this.
I could give examples and varying degrees of this, but it would make this post too long.
Some may wonder where my husband is in all of this. We're together the whole time except for the usual bathroom breaks, him going to the bar for us, him turned away slightly talking to somebody else, etc. These things that happen, they don't go on and on, because now I'm just stepping aside as soon as Mr. McFeely comes up on me, and moving away from them. I'm just tired of it happening. It's been various people who do this.
Isn't there a rule that you shouldn't touch someone sexually unless you get an invitation to do so? I sure wish there were, and that everyone knew it.