Quote:
|
Originally Posted by uberkraker To clarify, I would LOVE to find another single woman with all of the following qualities (not an exhaustive list):
1. Enjoys kinky sex with multiple partners
2. Ambition
3. Intestinal Fortitude
4. Integrity
5. Financial Acumen
6. Beauty
etc, etc, etc.
Guess which attribute is hardest to find (taken in combination with the others)? Ding ding ding! That's correct Alex, kinky sex with multiple partners! Show him what he's won!
I find the most promising leads come from my married friends in the lifestyle who play "cupid," which is a big reason for my behavior. Someday I'll roll sixes. I know it.
Am I going to lose sleep pining over this Unicorn-like creature I'd like to have share my life? No. It's not my job to try to force something like that to happen, it's fate. If it's meant to happen, it will, forever and ever, amen. |
I appologize, I'll hihack the thread here. I find interesting this comment in particular, and reminds me of a conversation from some weeks ago involving a well known single women who's a regular at the same club we are.
She was telling she broke with a guy she was dating, and the conversation evolved to her viewpoint on this. Basically, she gave the same argument: she enjoy sex, love have nothing to do with sex, she would love to find out a guy willing to swing with her who also can appreciate and love her for what she is (including her taste for swinging), and she know she have very little chances to find someone at the club (nor she foresight herself playing the girfriend role only inside the club with someone), but the chances of finding such a someone in a vanilla environement are practically null.
This brings me back to another subject that come up over and over in the Forum. We say (and I agree) singles aren't swingers, that it is required a previous settled relationship for the couple to be swingers. So, singles engage in recreational sex with swingers (because it's hard to find another environment where to do so).
However, I believe there exist another cathegory laking a name: those singles (perhaps divorced from a swinging relationship) who actually like recreational sex, are well aware of the requirements (including the effort) for a couple to swing, who KNOW they want to swing and this is something they wouldn't give up permanently in a relationship, and who wait for an unicorn to show up in their lives.
When those guys come to the forum asking for advice about the problems they face when starting a relationship, the swinger couples have very few to offer for them, since we provide the sort of advice usefull for the former vanilla couples who start swinging or actually swing, on a very different grounds than the ones those guys already have. I think the only ones having experience required to provide such an advice would be people who had been there and took the same road: from the recreational sex to the settled relationship, wich goes in the opposite direction than the road most of us already took.
Some time ago, along with the discussion on the need to make a Polyamory & Swinging forum, Julie asked for other topics deserving it own thread. I don't know how many singles fitting this category are among the members, nor how many of them succeeded in building up a settled relationship, allowing them to provide quality advice for those singles, but I believe this could be one of those topics. I am aware there exist the forum Singles & Swinging, but it seems to be focused in the way singles participate in the Lifestyle and in the swingers parties, and not in the emotional troubles they face when trying to develop a relationship devised to be part of the lifestyle from the scratch.
Besides, I gues, such a forum could be a showroom for those guys to set themselves appart from the rest of the singles, where to provide a valuable insight to the couples who may face alike singles in the future, for example, helping to develop clues to tell them appart from the other singles.
This is just food for tought. I appologize for the hihack, and well, if this idea makes sense to someone, I guess it'd continue in another thread.