[sereneiders]

I agree with the others here. This is a communication problem. Moreover, I'd say you're the one failing to communicate her your expectations... and I wonder if this isn't just the result of you failing to communicate with YOURSELF.

You two meet in a swingers environment, she's doing something she use to do before and, I guess, you were aware of. I'd like to know if you weren't here looking for an easy laid, just for fun, without the purpose to meet Mrs Right there... but you got hooked by this woman and, perhaps, the Mrs Right you have in your head shouldn't be this kind of woman. In any case, you're expecting something from her that she didn't expected. I guess if you were being upfront about this from the first day, it's very likely that she would have broken the 500 yards world's record while running away from you, and I wonder if you didn't chose to ease your expectations a little bit to avoid rejection, and once she start developing feelings you're starting to hardening them step by step.

You have to think what do you want for you, for your life, from a relationship, and once you get the answer, look for someone who's looking for the same, insthead of trying to change someone's else to make her fit your tastes. Ultimatelly, I believe if you were able to change someone to fit your tastes... you'd lose that someone who atracted you in the first place in exchange for an extension for your own hand.

As an aside, this is a perfect example of why singles aren't swingers by definition, and how unfit we, swingers, are to give an umbiased advice. You two meet in an environment where you were looking for unattached recreational sex in the first place.

Swinging, in the other hand, is recreational sex but have more to do with the attachments we already have, it is about being able to enjoy recreational sex while preserving and enhancing those attachments we ALREADY had from before swinging.

Whether if it is possible to develop those attachments AFTER or WHILE you have recreational sex involving others, and how to do it, is a question that we, swingers, cannot properly answer, because the only feature in common would be the "recreational sex", while the remaining ones cannot be correlated with our current experience.

For example, some swingers may advice to stop swinging and work on the relationship... as if you were comming from the same place they came, while you just did the opposite, what gethered you two togheter was "to swing" and it doesn't seem fair to ask your partner to stop swinging to work on a "relationship", by means of undermining what joined you two in the first place.

What I know for sure is, there's anithing in my experience able to give you a wise advice. The only I can talk about is about something unrelated with swinging, as the expectations stuff.

I wonder how many swingers in the board built a relationship on top of the recreational sex they shared before, leaving a track other people like you could follow, because those swingers are the only ones able to say smething suitable to your situation.