[good times]

I really couldn't say whether it is really cheating or not without hearing her side of the story. The reason I say that is that in the examples you cited it sounds to me that at the time she did these things she didn't believe you would dissapprove. I think this does have something to do with the fact that you met through swinging, and I suspect that the problem is that she thinks you have a more open relationship sexually than you do, which indicates to me more of a communication problem than a cheating problem. So, I would agree with the others in as far as you need to talk it out with her and set some boundries that you will both be comfortable with, but I am not sure if she really willfully cheated on you.