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Originally Posted by sillynickname I said she could play with other women on here own. I have no problem with that, but I voice concern that I think they would like a FMF with me out of the picture. So last night she receives another e-mail describing how the Misses is going to get my wife so wet and the hubby is going to do her with his 9 inches . I was asking her don’t you see anything wrong here as I’m not comfortable with this. Seem like I’m out of the picture. She says well the other couples wife mentioned you in the last e mail … something to the effect we could put a show on for the husbands. I reacted inappropriately something like O lucky me.
Well my wife proceeds to go into a tirade saying this is not worth it, we should forget the whole thing, I’m over reacting , what do I expect ect…. I would like her to have a friend and all, just if there is a male involved I think it should be as a couple. I was taken by surprise by my wife, I don’t see anything wrong here attitude. With the comment of you’re just not ready for this yet. Now the whole subject is taboo and seems that we are both left with hard feeling.
I was wondering if I did overreact, maybe we should just give it up. I still want to make friends with benefits just I want to be one of the friends. |
We have had this
exact situation happen about a dozen times, but let me preface that by saying that C and I are in the BDSM lifestyle as well as swinging. They are 2 different animals; involve 2 completely different sets of rules, different Trust level et. cet. We have had couples contact us who want BDSM play w/just C or just me and every time we take a pass. If they keep perusing us, C has to take a little firmer stand to get them to knock it off.
You did not overreact in the slightest. You are knowingly being cut out of a relationship and that should be a red flag. Are you swinging for the enjoyment as a couple or do you have an open marriage? It doesn't sound like you have an open marriage so one has to wonder what is your wife's attraction to this type of encounter. It appears that she has an immense attraction to the BDSM lifestyle option, which is normal. But since you are a couple she should keep that in mind when talking to other couples.
If I were in your shoes, I would reexamine what we do/don't want as a couple in the swinging lifestyle and establish a firm set of ground rules that both of you agree on. C and I have a "Lowest common denominator" rule meaning if one of us is not attracted to another couple or is not invited to play, we take a pass.
K