[Cloud of Love]

Feel free to ignore my opinion since I am not an actual swinger but rather an interested bystander in a happy monogamous relationship, but it seems to me that if the concept of swinging is creating tension and disharmony between you and your wife, that you should drop the idea, at least in the short run, or risk harming your relationship.

I think the experienced swingers here would tell you that successful swinging is something that brings a couple together and increases closeness and happiness. If even the idea is having the opposite effect, perhaps that is telling you something.