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Originally Posted by sillynickname we post our profile on Swing Lifestyle and get a response I start talking to the female half of the couple and thing seem to be going along just fine. Well we exchange pictures and the next thing I know the female is talking and e-mailing my wife, talking up what her and the hubby is going /wanting to do with her. Not with us as a couple and what seem to make matters worse is my wife is acting like there is nothing wrong here. . |
Well, as everyone knows I can relate to this situation. First of all, your wife has experience in swinging, and so is more comfortable with situations that arise. I think that is only natural. We experience this alot, the couple talking to one person more than the other. I'll be honest with you. Some people are just more comfortable talking with either men or women. Myself, it does not matter because I am a talkative person. But I know that there is a thing called respect. They should not make it sound like you don't exist, that they are only trying to screw your wife. If this is what they want than they should really voice that so you know from jump.
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Originally Posted by sillynickname I said she could play with other women on here own. I have no problem with that, but I voice concern that I think they would like a FMF with me out of the picture. So last night she receives another e-mail describing how the Misses is going to get my wife so wet and the hubby is going to do her with his 9 inches . I was asking her don’t you see anything wrong here as I’m not comfortable with this. Seem like I’m out of the picture. She says well the other couples wife mentioned you in the last e mail … something to the effect we could put a show on for the husbands. I reacted inappropriately something like O lucky me.. |
Again, I can relate. Jay is very sensitive about people (usually single men with us) acting like he is not even there, and they are doing him a "favor" by allowing him to "tag along" (we actually had a man tell me that, that if Jay wanted to "tag along" he was welcome)....talk about get ticked off! To Jay it is about respect more than anything.
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Originally Posted by sillynickname Well my wife proceeds to go into a tirade saying this is not worth it, we should forget the whole thing, I’m over reacting , what do I expect ect…. I would like her to have a friend and all, just if there is a male involved I think it should be as a couple. I was taken by surprise by my wife, I don’t see anything wrong here attitude. With the comment of you’re just not ready for this yet. Now the whole subject is taboo and seems that we are both left with hard feeling... |
As most people who follow the threads know, on this last week he was quite upset because of a single man (he says he is married but Jay is convinced he is single saying he is married) said that he wanted to play with me, and he would let jay tag along. Now, this is SO disrespectful. And Jay asked me about it. And yes, I frickin over reacted BIG TIME. With me, its about 2 things. Now, I don't know if this is what your wife was feeling, but this is what I was feeling in a very similar situation.
1. I felt like he did not trust me. If you don't trust me we don't have a relationship in the first place.
2. I felt like he was dictating to me what I can and cannot do. If you knew me and my personality thats not a good idea lol. To me, had Jay sat down and said "Michelle, I don't like this guy." That would have been it. As a matter of fact, I immediately told Jay that he does NOT have to explain to me anything. If he does not like the guy or couple than that is it, we don't play with him/them. He has as much say as I do. Just don't DICTATE to me what I can or cannot do, because then I get juvenile lol.
As far as over reacting, I think you could have gone about it better, yes. I think you should have sat down with your wife and told her how you felt. Listen babe, I feel disrespected by them and I don't think they want me involved. I am asking that you please not talk with them. But by going off you put her on the defensive....all of a sudden you were a "Father" figure, dictating to her. And for most grown women this is a bad approach to take lol.
I would suggest doing what Jay and I did. Sit down together and talk about it in a cool manner. Once Jay and I understood each other things were fine.
Best of luck to you.