Hi InNY,
If you go about this in the wrong way you can do a whole lot of damage to your relationship with your wife. So you got to be careful.
1st, as we meantioned about, if once your in swinging, you have got to be able to 100% agree with your wife that every time she says "NO" that you will stop any activity. This is the only way to show respect to her and for her to keep her trust in you. So if you push now, your learning a pattern of not accepting no and so your underminding her trust in you not only now but also in the future when you want to be swinging with your wife. Hope you see the point.
If your like me, you have got to build your relationship with your wife to a new level before she will even feel that love is really your motive for wanting to swing. You may have already undermined this. You need to learn all about the religious / conservative / sexual woman / what every ideas that your wife has and show concern for who she is. Swinging has got to fit into this picture she has in her mind of who she see. Plus she has got to konw that you are in love with who she is, not who you want to make her.
You have likewise got to educate her as to who you are. If you have been hiding some of your sexuality from her ... you need to reveal that to her. Speak the truth in love as the Bible says. She needs to konw who you are ...
So you have got to do a whole lot of talking with no TV going. Why is this? Well, swinging makes everything very intense. If you don't have the comumication down really good swinging with not work even if tomorrow she says, "Oh I want to get some extra sex!"
Hope that helps you, I say you got 2 to 3 years of relationship work before you swing. That could be if she is a willing partner in all this.
dayhiker
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Originally Posted by InNY I really appreciate all of your opinions, I truely do. It been mostly females who have responded so I would like to get some guys perspective on this too to see if its along the same lines. Thanks. |