I haven’t had any embarrassing moments with C, but I did have a dozy with my first husband (let’s just call him John for now) when we were in college in a small college town in OH. I came home from work to see that he had taken a number of garbage bags, cut them open and duct taped them to the bed. On the nightstand were 2 huge cans of Crisco and he wanted to try “Crisco sex.” Being a 22 year old idiot, I agreed…actually I thought it sounded like fun. So we get through foreplay and I was standing on the side of the bed while he was doing me doggie, and then the unthinkable happened…my hands slipped and I fell face first onto the mattress right before another orgasm. Since we were both coated in Crisco, “John” flew over my back, across the bed and went head first through the hollow core door to the bedroom.
But wait…there’s more.
I throw on some sweats, dress him and run him to the hospital thinking he might have a concussion. We get to the hospital only to find out that my worst fear is realized. My cousin is the ER MD on staff that day. I can still see the look of amusement on her face at this one and she still teases me about it today. I was so mortified and yes, “John” did have a mild concussion so at least I did the right thing lol. And of course, my cousin called my parents and told them what happened.
What did I learn from this? Crisco sex = bad plan with garbage bags.
K