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Originally Posted by Funcpl647 We haven't had sex with each other since. Now what? |
As bad as everything was - this is definitely the worst part of it all. Swinging should open pathways of being even more intimate with each other - not more distant. I am sorry this is happening more than I am sorry for what did happen.
Hindsight is 20/20 in situations like this and all anyone here can do is play armchair quarterback. So - I would have simply teamed up with my wife and kept the play between the two of us. I would have turned the entire scenario into soft-swing. If they objected, I would say that was our preferred way of playing "right now" and leave it at that...
But - I wasn't in your shoes - and don't know what sort of pressure you two were really under...
It would have been extremely awkward to call a cab - setting yourself up for an uncomfortable confrontation the next day when you come back to get your car; and driving home when you weren't really capable of doing so would have been irresponsible. Unfortunately, you were in a no-win situation (yet another reason we meet our friends,
typically, at a club first).
But - like I said - this is all armchair quarterback - and the most important thing is not what you did - but what it has done to the two of you.
My suggestion would be to distance yourself from swinging right now. Don't visit your ad site - maybe even take a break from here (though this will undoubtedly be a place where you will find support and encouragement) - and definitely just put things on the back burner.
Purposely try to rebuild your self-esteem together. Go out of your way to encourage each other that you guys did nothing wrong - you were just in a bad situation. Discuss new "rules" and ways that you will avoid that in the future. Like - ask them to dance or at least walk them out to their car so you can make sure they haven't lied about insignificant things like their height (dishonesty here is a guarantee of dishonesty elsewhere). Sure - no one is "on the money" with their weight - unless they change it daily after their morning weigh-in, but I know that adding five inches to my height is going to be noticed.
Anything you two discuss - TOGETHER - is going to help you guys get past this bad experience. It sounds more like an accumulation of experiences that have just left the two of you defeated and deflated. But - this is about the two of you - and you have to keep that in perspective. We've all made mistakes in the lifestyle - regardless of the "perfect" advice we give around here
Good luck to you guys!
Spoomonkey