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Old 10-08-2006, 09:20 PM   #5 (permalink)
Spoomonkey
Chimpin' Ain't Easy
 
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 6,739
Location: Ohio
Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine?
Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey

Spoomonkey is very well respected around here Spoomonkey is very well respected around here Spoomonkey is very well respected around here Spoomonkey is very well respected around here
Default Re: Where did we go wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by azcpl01
In one of the play dates the female performed a little bit of oral on me (the male). This was within our boundaries, but we had also decided that we were not at a point where she would reciprocate.
I think maybe this is where you went wrong.

When we are playing with a couple, we assume that we can go as far as they go with us - and visa versa. If a couple allowed my wife to give the husband a blow job, I would think that a blow job might be coming my way.

If not - we'd be a bit confused by the mixed messages.

I can see how they might think that you two were being a little selfish and perhaps giving them the wrong idea.

But we all make mistakes in the lifestyle - and the heat of the moment tends to be where these mistakes occur. It is probably best that it happened. After all - based on what they said to you, it seems clear they were expecting more - that you would "evolve" to their comfort level. This is obviously not where you two are heading.

You absolutely are not "bad swingers". You are doing what is comfortable for you. You don't need to do anything else. In fact, if you ever became "bad swingers" it would undoubtedly be because one or both of you started doing things that crossed the boundaries that you guys need to stay within.

Move on - be patient. What you will find is what a lot of soft swingers discover - and that is: it is pretty tough to find soft swap only couples. It is a pretty small niche.

Good luck out there - and keep doing what works for you!

Spoomonkey
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