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Originally Posted by Tybee Swing I agree with you, it's mostly common that people get comfortable (lazy) after marriage because the pursuit is off, they got who they're with, they're accepted. It's not a good way to think, and it can be dangerous. We should all be "wooed" and "wooing" on a daily basis, if we want our marriages to stay hot. All of us want to be proud of how our spouse takes care of his or herself, we want to be proud to be on their arm. It may be shallow, but I still want to be physically attracted to him. Yes, I adore him, but I want to be visually turned-on by him, too. I want him to dress well when we're out together, be well-groomed, etc. Sexual attraction, in love or not, is always going to be at least partly based on physical attraction.
If my husband had been a slob, but after starting swinging he finally cleaned up his act, started dressing and grooming better and working out, I'm pretty sure I'd be very peeved that he did it for all of "them", but not for me!  |
I'm with you. One of the things that has peeved me in past relationships is when a guy gets so comfortable that he will crawl into bed stinky or sweaty. Hello! I don't want to sleep next to you smelling your BO! Or when a guy is so comfortable that he will go out in public with you in a ripped up dirty shirt and sweat pants . UM NO! I don't think so. So basically what it comes down to with me is yes Love is unconditional and I'm not going to stop loving him for doing those things but it would piss me off and it would piss me off even more if he didn't make those efforts FOR ME but he would for some stranger.
And I think I would feel pretty shitty if it were pointed out to me that I had let things fall by the wayside as far as making an effort to look good for HIM, but the times I would go out of my way were when we were meeting strangers to potentially have sex with.