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Originally Posted by JustAskJulie In reading other threads I often see people say that because of the lifestyle they take better care of their bodies, go to greater extent to stay in shape, etc. Whenever I see this I can't help but think "why didn't you do that for your spouse? or for yourself?" Why did it take swinging to make you want to take better care of your body? And what is it about swinging that makes you want to do so?
I think it's fairly common that people take better care of themselves when they are single and therefore trying to attract potential partners. Too often when we get comfortable in a relationship we take those things for granted... as women we may stop butting so much effort into making sure we have makeup on before we leave the house or for all of us making sure our clothes are just right. So I can see how we get to the point that we don't do what we should to present ourselves, but what is about swinging that changes that?
And beyond that, if your partner is one of those that has started making more of an effort to present themselves since you've started pursuing swinging, how does that make you feel? Do you ever feel jealous that they didn't make that effort for you but now they are willing to for others? |
We did the same thing. After 5 years of marraige I fell into the rut where I didn't do my makeup and just pulled my hair back for everyday wear. The only time I really did my makeup was when I was going out, and even then it was for really going out, not trips to walmart grocery shopping or anything.
When we began swinging, I started to pay more attention to how I looked leaving the house. Hubby asked me why, and it took me some time to figure out, its because we are swingers now, and it made me more "self concious" when I went out. It did kind of raise the question with us, "Why didnt you do it just for me?" It took some time for me to answer that. As hard as it was to tell him my answer was, "We are married, you love me with or without makeup, so I didnt feel the need. I was wrong. I should want to look my best for YOU first, others second."
So now, I take that extra few minutes to make myself prettied up for him. I get up everyday and do my hair and makeup now, not because I am going somewhere, but because he might stop by for lunch. Now, he feels like I am doing it for him, but in reality I am doing it for me now. I want to be at my best for him. I want him to come in and tell me how beautiful I am, and how much he appreciates the little things I do.