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Originally Posted by SuAndBud Hi Pepper,
Do you continue your realtionship with him (assuming you have one) when he's dating, or is one relationship at a time enough for him? |
Right now, he's dating a girl that he really likes, and we've only played with him once since they've been seeing each other. Of course, since he's seeing her more often, we haven't seen him much, even socially. We usually invite him to parties, he'll invite us out with his buddies, so we're good friends as well as playmates. I'm almost positive he hasn't told her of his history with his ex-girlfriend (we used to swing with them as a couple) or of his continued lifestyle affiliation.
In your case, if he tells her that you and Su are in the lifestyle, won't she be able to add 1 + 2 = 3? If it were me in her situation, I'd feel a little pressured in being told that because the three of you have history, the three of you are already swingers and have already been together, and I'm the odd man (woman) out.
Personally, I'd let him worry about how he's going to broach the subject with her, or whether she'll feel betrayed, etc. or whether they're going to play. After all, it was his choice not to disclose the info at the onset, so let him figure it out.
The way I see it, the only thing that you and Su have to worry about is whether you're ok with continuing to play with him. If you think their relationship will be pretty long-term, then maybe it is time to tell him you want to cool it on the playdates for now. Or, continue to play, but stay out of the discussion of "bringing her into the fold". I think getting involved in that is the part that could be messy.
Just my flawed, non-PC opinion.
Pepper