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Originally Posted by intuition897 Is there a poll out there somewhere on this already? I'm thinking there probably is...
Mr. intuition and I, while we're not currently swinging and not in a poly relationship, have agreed that we are very open-minded about it. At least we are open to the possibility of it. I want him to be happy, and he wants the same for me. There is no sense of ownership between us whatsoever. We're together because we choose to be, because we want to be. For no other reason. He has told me in no uncertain terms that if I ever wanted to develop another relationship, that he was perfectly okay with that...so long as I respected him by never lying to him about my needs and desires. He, of course, insists on complete honesty and expects me to be able to manage any other relationships in such a way as to not adversely affect the one that he and I share. I have reciprocated with the same deal for him.
I truly feel that I would not be jealous or unhappy should Mr. intuition find another person to add to his life. Quite the contrary, in fact. Anything that adds to his happiness adds to mine.
However, we've both decided together and as individuals that neither of us are interested in expending energy in that direction. We'd rather just work on the relationship we're in together for now.
So you tell us...are we poly?  |
Well, this is EXACTLY what happend to us. Moreover, we talk about this "permission" to develop other relationships way long before swinging (from the very begining of our relationship), and even when we didn't tought we could swing (I wanted, she say "no", I honored and never insisted until she bring up the subject again... 10 years after I asked her to).
Even when we had this permission, none of us was interested in "expending energy in that direction", and at least for me, I have to admit it... I wasn't sure about how something like this would evolve, and the sole chace of hurting my wife feelings, even by accident, was dissapealing enough as to prevent this from happening.
When we began swinging, the whole "no feelings" rule we were adviced to follow didn't make too much sense for us. We understood it was a requirement for other couples to preserve their relationship while swinging, and honored this requirement... until we found out people more alike to our perspective about this.
Our relationship with our former "girlfirend" started in the frameset of swinging, however the three of us feel and tought much the same way about this "no feelings allowed" restriction. The three of us really enjoyed beyng togheter, even enjoyed activities between just two of us, it evolved as a friendship, and it reached a point where we all say "what the hell, why not call it the way we feel this deserve to be called? why don't use the words whe had stuck in our thoats because of those
foreign, imposed rules, even when they're usefull and work for
others?", and we began talking about love.
So it wasn't something we pursued, but something we let it happen.