[good times]

I think a lot of newbies overthink these type of things, I know we did. My advice, while probably not very helpful, is to say it whenever it fits into the conversation you are having. You may find the best time is just before the act in question, as some of the others have said, or you may find that you are having a conversation with the couple and the subject of limits comes up and you can mention it then. We have, in fact, even had conversations like this at dinner.

It is funny how most of us have no problem carying on a conversation with others in the vanilla world, but when we come to swinging we all of a sudden get worried about what we say and when we should say it. Fact is, we are all just people, so just say what you need to say when you need to say it. This was a hard one for us, and I think it took us about a year or more of swinging before we learned that things always work out better if we say what is on our mind rather than wait for the appropriate time, which never comes, so it often doesn't get said.