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Originally Posted by SuAndBud Have mixed feelings on this as I (Bud) shared Su with a male friend of ours on a number of occasions during the summer last year.
I still get flashbacks of when I needed to go pee and I looked back to see him thrusting into her and I thought "what are you doing? you've a beautiful lady here and you're abusing it".
Since then, we've repeated it tho and Su not only fully takes part, on many occasions she instigates the entire thing, but I often wonder is she doing it for her, for us or just for me.
Can see where the original poster is coming from. |
First if all, I have to wonder about the way you worded the first part. You shared her. It sounded like some sort of transaction or arrangement between you and the other guy. This has almost nothing to do with the other guy. Of course you should feel comfortable with him having sex with your wife, but in the end, it's her decision to make.
And I wonder, also, about your attitude about swinging at all? If you are, in fact, "lending out" your wife to someone else, then I'd have to agree with your summation that you are indeed abusing your priveleges as a husband. If you're doing this because you feel you somehow
have to do it to make her happy or prevent her from having an affair, you are just going to end up with a pair of broken hearts. That crap has to be sorted out before you even
consider swinging!
Swinging isn't supposed to hurt; it's supposed to be fun and enriching to your marriage. If it isn't improving your relationship, it's hurting it, and you need to stop. It sounds to me like you still have some unanswered questions in your mind. If you don't resolve those NOW they will eat away at your brain until they drive you crazy. Questions like these, left to their own devices and in the grip of an active imagination, are like an infection that will fester and grow. Talk to your wife and let her know that you are feeling very uneasy about why you're both doing this at all. What does it mean to her? Explain to her why
you are interested in it? What does your relationship mean to the both of you? The tougher the question, the better. Aim for the questions that make you the MOST uncomfortable and get them out in the open. Work
together to resolve them.