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Originally Posted by ohash01 ...The problem is that he now wants to get together with JUST me. Tomorrow. While BF is out of town. He says no sex...nothing like that...just lunch somewhere and talking. He says he kind of "filters" the women for his wife. Shouldn't the wife be doing that? |
Lots of good 'red flag' advice has already been given, but I feel so strongly about this type of issue that arises through using ad sites that I wanted to respond.
First off, I don't feel that any experienced swinging couple would resort to asking for this type of meet. For the women to meet alone, maybe, but even then it should be only after all four of you have talked on the phone first to make sure that they are a couple and there is a woman interested in meeting you.
To this point you've only messaged each other, you have no way of knowing if it even is a couple. And now that this guy is asking to meet you
while your BF is out of town, well that right there is so bad - and dangerous - in so many ways that you can't ignore this huge red flag.
I see this as typical of how men, searching alone, draw couples in. They establish rapport through lots of messaging and then when they feel they have you hooked ask for the private meet, knowing that you will feel guilty if you say no.
You didn't mention if you only told him you couldn't meet because of other plans, or if you
wouldn't meet because his request was unacceptable, but I think it is imperative that you let him know the later.
I also feel you should suggest a phone call ASAP with all four of you. If he doesn't agree to it or postpones with excuses, he's someone you should drop immediately.
Good luck and let us know what you discover.
LM