 Re: I'm sick and tired of this. Please offer me some advice.
Just sit down and really talk to her. Try to get to the bottom of the WHYs. An "I don't want to" is probably not going to satisfy you at this point. Is it jealousy? Is it fear of an STD? Is it that she's not attracted to the men in the couples? Is she really truly bi and just needs to be with another woman to feel satisfied, but isn't really into "swinging"? Talk to her. It may be uncomfortable. She may get gumpy and raise the level of her voice (which is what I do when I get uncomfortable), but it's better that you guys figure this out now than for you to continue to fester and begin to feel resentful.
BF and I have talked in depth about why (for right now) it's not comfortable for us to have full intercourse with others...but we are also the dreaded "beginner swingers" mentioned above. Granted, I've also never made out with another girl and left him out in the cold, but that is our personal choice.
As for the lesbian thing...I doubt it. In today's age, especially in Ohio, she'd probably just be a lesbian if that's what she is. She probably would have given up on men completely. After all, Columbus has the 2nd highest gay/lesbian population...right after San Fran.
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