[discoandvyper]

You know NandT, and the rest of you for that matter, I've weighed the alternatives. One alternative is that we quit swinging altogether. I'm not happy with that alternative, not one bit. I was in a swinging relationship before I was with Disco, and it wasn't all that long into this relationship with Disco that we began playing around such as it is. It's not an integral part of the relationship, not by any means, but it's not something I wish to give up - especially since I've never enjoyed the fruit of the endeavour. Maybe it's selfish, but I'd only consider dropping it AFTER I've had at least one fling go in such a way that I get something out of it too.

Alternative to that would be playing without my wife, but that's not really a prime solution. Part of the thrill of the chase, so to speak, is seeing my wife in action from a third person perspective, doing it with her, doing it as something we as a couple do. I still find my wife unbelievably sexy so doing it without her in favor of some woman I don't really know well isn't what I'm after. Surely you guys here know the thrill in seeing your wife/girlfriend involved sexually with someone else. I wouldn't call myself a Cuckolding fan, not by any means, but seeing her in action is a speical thrill. I'm just wishing for more me-time in the mix. Also, a "single" guy in this lifesyle... well, you all know how thrilling that role is.

Someone above (apologies for not remembering usernames) asked if she may be a closet lesbian. From her actions you'd wonder so, wouldn't you! However, to answer your question, I'm pretty sure she's not. She talks at length about how she could never give up men, how she loves dick, and how this guy or that guy caught her attention earlier on a given day. Sure, I accept this could be her "cover story" she's using to keep me from finding out her secret. There's also the fact that before she married her first husband she had been with more women than men. There's also the fact that she was with more women than men during her first marriage and during the marriage she is now in with me. Hmm... maybe you are on to something. Still, I must take her implied word for it that she's not. I'll keep it in the back of my mind from now on, how's that sound?

I suppose the only real thing I can do is sit her down and lay it out: I want to swing too, I want to be involved, and I want to meet couples with you, and have all of us have sex of some sort while preferring full swap. There is so much in this lifestyle we have not done, so much that I yearn for. This beginner's stuff is getting really old with me, to the point that I am starting to get reluctant to search for people to meet with for fear that she'll turn it into yet another thing that I have burning in the back of my brain that I'm not happy with.

Thanks for letting me rant here. I'll continue to check the thread for more people's input. I feel pretty safe making these posts because Disco never comes here, and I doubt anyone on Swing Lifestyle is going to send her a message about this thread when she's on there.