[discoandvyper]

I'm sick and tired of the way things are going for us as a swinging couple.

We started playing as an accidental thing, one of those "too many drinks" kind of things. We had gone to a couple-friend's house for the weekend. The alcohol was flowing heavily and the wife of the friend made a move on Disco, Disco took it for what it was worth, and the two had sex on the trampoline out back.

We, the guys, got our bit too, as much as that first time nervousness about crossing boundaries would allow. When they were done with each other, we gave the girls oral sex ourselves, first one girl, then the other. Neither of us recieved any pleasure/attention, but that was ok that first time because we didn't really know what any boundaries are.

After that incident we found out that we had been "marked". That couple was a swinging couple and after making friends with them they had pretty much decided they were going to try something with us. It was basically a setup from the beginning.

Don't take it the wrong way though, I'm pretty happy it happened. I mean, I got to see my wife have oral sex with another woman... what guy doesn't wanna see that? I also had a minor fetish of seeing her with another guy, so when he gave Disco oral sex that was pretty cool too. If I had to do it over again the only real thing I would change would be maybe find friends who were better looking - they weren't Ken and Barbie, they weren't Herman Munster... pretty average. Who wouldn't want those fantasies fulfilled by the best looking people possible?

So, I hold no ill will towards them for "marking" us. They introduced us to a lifestyle of pleasure. The next couple we met as friends turned out to be swingers too - who knew there were so many of us? They did the exact same thing the first couple did, marked us for a try. They succeded too, thanks to my wife's love of alcohol and a natural itch for a woman's touch.

All in all I have no complaints on our early years as swingers. It was basically my wife getting oral sex from other women, giving oral sex to other women, and occasionally getting oral sex from another man.

It is in the later years that I find distaste in the situation. You see, the normal thing I would think would happen would be to dabble at first, get your feet wet. Then you'd talk about this with your partner and set ground rules, rules which could be bent or broken or altered altogether at later dates as desire rises and falls, new people are met, new fantasies are laid out. Ultimately I believe Swinging to be a dynamic rather than static thing, one that changes with age, weight gain or loss, sexual ability changing, and a host of other factors.

You see, the situation has remained static. We are still at the level of her getting and giving oral sex to women. Rarely am I invited to join the fun - I have, I won't lie. It has been really sporadic and only one time have I had the "fun" turned on to me (where I received). Usually the best it gets is I give the other lady oral sex... fun in its own right, but who are we kidding, we all want the full course meal. It's been six years and we're still playing the beginner games.

When we talk, or duing sexual sessions between us alone, she's open to all kinds of things. We've discussed everything from meeting couples to bringing a single male in for a one time only thing (I suggested one time only simply to fulfill my fantasy and never pressure her again). In all these things, she is open while we're talking about it. When the rubber meets the road and we've found a couple on Swing Lifestyle we would entertain the idea of meeting, she usually backs out EVEN IF IT'S HER IDEA TO MEET THEM. It'll begin with a comment about how good they look, or an email from them... she or I will reply, get a conversation going, you know how it works. When it comes to the "meet?" part of the conversation, she'll entertain it on paper but turns down the idea when we discuss it as a serious option.

I don't get it!

This is not to say we've never met couples/singles. We've met six or eight couples and two single females. It's gotten to the point that I can predict exactly what will happen. If it's a single female, we'll meet, they'll flirt, I'm left to buy drinks. We all go back to our place for more drinks, the two flirt and kiss and what have you, the clothes come off, and those two go after it like she's a single woman again - I'm left in the cold except that I can touch/do whatever with Disco.

If it's a couple, she'll meet only if they're very attractive. I can't quite seem to get it into my wife's head that there's REAL people in this lifestyle, not just Pamela Anderson (bad example, she has Hep C) and her lookalikes, and real people probably fuck better anyways. At any rate, she'll play it cool untill the other woman shows a sign of interest, then see above. Meanwhile, me and the other guy are left watching and doing things with our girl only. Does he want to do things with Disco? You bet. The ones that have tried anything beyond oral sex... party's over. If I try anything at all, period, with the other girl, party's over.

It's maddening.

Where is the natural progression of things?

Why does it seem to me like the whole show is centered on my wife, her wants, her fun, her everything? When do I get a little consideration?

I mean, it's been six years, you would think by now that we'd have progressed from the beginners basics. And it's contradictory, she'll be open to anything when we just discuss it but it doesn't get put into practice.

Yes, for those of you who are keen eyed and memoried, I am making a fool out of myself by posting this. Not a month ago I posted a post about how we both want in on the action. That post was at her behest. This is more evidence of the "anything is ok" in theory but "nothing is ok" in practice.