[She_n_Jaybee]

Whew! Glad that meeting is off. Those sort of things always worry me, because I've seen too much of what goes on via the internet. One female friend ended her marriage, quit her job and damn near ended up homeless through a situation that started almost exactly the same way. After the 4th or 5th meeting which the guys wife had to miss at the last moment, he explained they were about to seperate, at that poin he had already started her down the road to cheating and it didn't take long for her to leave her husband. Of course it turned out he wasn't getting a divorce. His wife wasn't a swinger, he had no intention of anything other than sex with the woman whose life he had just ruined.

People online have a tendency to at least varnish the truth. After 15 years of watching relationships crumble because of online activity, perhaps, I've gotten a bit cynical. But, with any men that we are chatting with online, I assume they are lying, until they prove otherwise. Pictures don't mean a thing. Have had one "woman" who wanted to see what my (ex)wife looked like send me 3 pictures of herself. Only problem, 2 of the pictures were definitely of different women. Have even had a "couple" that we cammed with that was playing a pre-recorded video they claimed to be live. If your home movie has a reprint of a famous piece of art in the background, you should at least know the name of the artist. Especially when you claim to be artists yourself.

To any woman out there here's my advice: If you are chatting with a couple, get them on the telephone. Make sure you talk to the woman. If you get "she's too shy" or "she just went to the bathroom", assume there is no woman, or it's a man trying to cheat. If you haven't talked on the phone with the woman, don't agree to any meeting without your man along. Chances are the other woman won't show up (because she doesn't exist, or doesn't know). Any meeting that just happens to be suggested just when your boyfriend or husband has to be out of town should be a gigantic "NO!!!". Public place or not, that screams trouble. Also, any meeting with a couple from out of the area, needs some very clear cut rules in advance. First, they need to be responsible for their own lodging. Never agree to let them stay with you to save money. If things go well, they can move from the hotel to your place. But if things go wrong, do you really want people that are nothing like what you thought staying 24/7 in your home?

One clue you should have noticed in chatting with this "couple", she has cheated on him in the past. That's greasing the skids. A subtle nudge in the direction that it's now his turn to cheat on her. Playing with a couple with this sort of past, is generally not a good idea. It's grudge sex, instead of the wonderful thing it should be.

One last note and I'll get off my soapbox If you are chatting with a couple that seems too perfect for what you are looking for, chance are they are too perfect. Be a bit skeptical and it may save you a lot of heartache or worse later on.